Survivor!!

Just over a week ago I transitioned from Cancer Patient to Cancer Survivor and it is an awesome feeling. I finished my last chemo treatment and no longer need to get any IV medications. It was also the time I celebrated the one year mark from the time of my diagnosis. It was a bittersweet celebration. The bitter part is the cancer. The sweet part is that I am healthier today than I was one year ago. I am exercising, eating better and about 10 pounds slimmer than at the time of diagnosis.

I cannot say at this point that I am glad I had cancer. I just decided to let it help me become a better person. It also helped me get my life in perspective a little better. I had a 'business partner' who had not been carrying her own weight for the past two years and I finally had the courage (and strength) to ask her to leave. It took over four months and a lot of frustration but she is finally out of my office and I am much happier and less stressed. I am also working a little less and trying to spend more time with the kids. My son does not like me leaving the house early (5:30 AM) for work so I decided to start late two days per week so I can take both kids to school.

This weekend is a celebration time for me also. It was exactly one year ago yesterday that I was near deaths door with a neutropenic fever from the chemo (my white blood cells were almost completely wiped out and I was susceptible to everything). It was the first time in my life that I really thought I might die. Most people are in the hospital in almost complete isolation and with very few visitors allowed. I knew my oncologist well so he agreed to let me stay at home and come in daily for IV antibiotics. I did bring easter eggs to the oncology staff at the clinic to try and keep the day upbeat. It was the first time in three days that I could stand for longer than 10 minutes and I actually realized that I was going to live and make it through the ordeal.

It was such a rough few weeks after the diagnosis that I decided the entire month of April will be a celebration of life for me. I am spending six days in disneyland with my family since we all went through this ordeal together and we needed something to look forward to and pull us through. We promised the kids disneyland and April seemed the perfect time to celebrate. One day was definitely not enough so we decided to totally celebrate and do six days and stay at the hotel in the park to make it even more special.

I am not sure when (and if) I will truly believe that the cancer is gone for good - but for right now I feel great and life is going very well overall. I guess all I have is right now and for once it is okay... That is coming for a serious planner (or anal planner if you ask my spouse) so that is pretty amazing. I guess we really can change if we try hard enough. My stress reduction class that I took recently was all about 'living in the moment' and it was very eye-opening for me and a whole new way of living life.

Tomorrow's celebration will be a nice hike - hopefully at least 3 miles after a fun morning with the kids. It should be memorable for a lot of reasons...