Survivor!!

Just over a week ago I transitioned from Cancer Patient to Cancer Survivor and it is an awesome feeling. I finished my last chemo treatment and no longer need to get any IV medications. It was also the time I celebrated the one year mark from the time of my diagnosis. It was a bittersweet celebration. The bitter part is the cancer. The sweet part is that I am healthier today than I was one year ago. I am exercising, eating better and about 10 pounds slimmer than at the time of diagnosis.

I cannot say at this point that I am glad I had cancer. I just decided to let it help me become a better person. It also helped me get my life in perspective a little better. I had a 'business partner' who had not been carrying her own weight for the past two years and I finally had the courage (and strength) to ask her to leave. It took over four months and a lot of frustration but she is finally out of my office and I am much happier and less stressed. I am also working a little less and trying to spend more time with the kids. My son does not like me leaving the house early (5:30 AM) for work so I decided to start late two days per week so I can take both kids to school.

This weekend is a celebration time for me also. It was exactly one year ago yesterday that I was near deaths door with a neutropenic fever from the chemo (my white blood cells were almost completely wiped out and I was susceptible to everything). It was the first time in my life that I really thought I might die. Most people are in the hospital in almost complete isolation and with very few visitors allowed. I knew my oncologist well so he agreed to let me stay at home and come in daily for IV antibiotics. I did bring easter eggs to the oncology staff at the clinic to try and keep the day upbeat. It was the first time in three days that I could stand for longer than 10 minutes and I actually realized that I was going to live and make it through the ordeal.

It was such a rough few weeks after the diagnosis that I decided the entire month of April will be a celebration of life for me. I am spending six days in disneyland with my family since we all went through this ordeal together and we needed something to look forward to and pull us through. We promised the kids disneyland and April seemed the perfect time to celebrate. One day was definitely not enough so we decided to totally celebrate and do six days and stay at the hotel in the park to make it even more special.

I am not sure when (and if) I will truly believe that the cancer is gone for good - but for right now I feel great and life is going very well overall. I guess all I have is right now and for once it is okay... That is coming for a serious planner (or anal planner if you ask my spouse) so that is pretty amazing. I guess we really can change if we try hard enough. My stress reduction class that I took recently was all about 'living in the moment' and it was very eye-opening for me and a whole new way of living life.

Tomorrow's celebration will be a nice hike - hopefully at least 3 miles after a fun morning with the kids. It should be memorable for a lot of reasons...

surgery

Well, I made it all the way through the radiation and it took another four weeks for my skin to finally heal. I had about six weeks of red, blistered, weeping skin - but it finally did heal. I did have some fatigue with the radiation - but nothing compared to the chemo. It was just having raw, tender skin in an area that seemed to be a prime target for my kids to touch, hit, squeeze, etc. Some days it felt like it had a target painted on it...

I found out right around Christmas that the medication I was scheduled to take (tamoxifen) for the next five years to prevent recurrence - was not metabolized well by my body. The only other choice was to put my body into menopause so I could take an alternate medication (an aromatase inhibitor) or just skip the oral meds. The oral medication will reduce my already low risk of recurrence by about 45% - so I was willing to do what it took to take the meds.

I bit the bullet and friday (2 days ago) I had my ovaries removed (instant menopause!!) so I can take the AIs. The surgery went very well and I went home the same night and am just a little sore but pretty much back to most activities in just two days. The emotional part may take more than two days to heal. We just will have to wait and see.

The good news is that I planned a family adventure to Disneyland at the end of April. It will give me something to focus on for the next few months. It should also give me plenty of time to heal and get my body and emotions back in shape. I might even be able to keep up with the kids and that will be truly awesome.

I have been working out pretty regularly before the surgery and am hoping to run a 10K in May (so get ready Eric and Meri!!). I promised my surgeon I would take a few days off of exercise after the surgery but plan to work out either tonight or tomorrow to see how things go.