Phase I

Well, I made it through the first phase of the treatment. I finished chemo on tuesday. I am not celebrating yet though - since it does take about three weeks to get out of my system. This weekend will be my toughest time with fatigue, body aches, nausea, and the like. I usually plan on laying in bed most of the weekend and resting, reading and taking baths. I can play games and read to the kids - so that is good. I just stay close to home and try to avoid getting sick at all costs...

It looks like surgery will be on Friday, September 4th. My super awesome family is making arrangements to be with me for the first two weeks - so I am relaxing a bit as the time approaches since we will have help with the kids.

I managed to find someone to cover my practice for the needed time and have even planned for a family weekend in a few weeks - barring any unexpected illness or surprises.

Thanks to all of you for the thoughts, prayers, cards and all kinds of silly emails. They all help keep me smiling and focused on the important things in life. I am amazed at the generosity and compassion of friends - as we try to find more room in our refrigerator for all the wonderful meals we have received! I think when I recover, I am going to spend some time learning some of the wonderful recipes - since I seemed to have skipped those lessons in life. I am a good costco shopper though - so that helps in a pinch :-)

The Plan

I finally met with all the members of my team and devised a plan to beat this disease. It was not quite how I had hoped - but it looks like a winning plan.

First, finish chemo - just one more treatment
Six weeks later, have a mastectomy on the right breast (mid-Sept)
Three to four weeks later, start radiation therapy (five days per week for five weeks) (mid-Oct)
Four months after completion of radiation, we are ready for the next surgery (March??)
Have left mastectomy and reconstruction and have an expandable implant put in right breast (March)
Expand the implant weekly for 8 weeks
Replace expandable implant with a permanent one (May??)
Do final tattoing of the breast, etc

It is a lot more surgeries than I want - but it is the plan with the best cure rates and least invasive surgeries and chance of infection.

The problem is that I need radiation treatment. With radiation, the skin can be destroyed and can scar and cause a lot of problems with healing. The radiation is done as close to surgery as possible - so they can penetrate the chest wall well so I cannot wait for healing of a reconstructed breast and delay radiation without giving up cure rates.

We went through most all the options and this seemed to be the best one to destroy as little tissue as possible, give me the most active lifestyle and still have the best cure rates for the cancer.

I am trying to focus on the fact that the cancer will be gone by the end of the year and the rest will be cosmetic. It will prolong things quite a bit more than I wanted, but at least I will have most of my body :-) and my immune system back. I should have my energy levels back and will be able to exercise and enjoy life a bit more and not panic about getting a fever or infection.

Between chemo, menopause, low blood pressure issues and anemia and low platelets, I am managing to keep my spirits up pretty well. I had a few tough hours yesterday as I digested all the work to go still to destroy this beast.

I played with the kids a bit today - so that put my spirits back up. Both kids are really doing well in school. Nat is just really advancing in math and reading. Andrew has really started to take an interest in letters and sounds and is starting to write - so that is great to see.

We decided to make an overdue trip to build-a-bear and we will all build an animal. I want the kids to help with my breast cancer bear and they both have to rub and kiss my bear's heart before they stuff it in my animal because it will accompany me to all of the rest of my treatments and will be with me during all of my hospitalizations. I hope the animals can hold up to a lot of tears and hugs - because I have a feeling this one will be tested well.

Keep up all the thoughts and prayers. They really are helping! By the end of the year, I should be cancer free and that is an awesome thought.

Another delay

Well, I was all prepared for my last chemo - but once again my blood work did not cooperate. The best laid plans of mice and men... It is really not a big deal overall. It just means the chemo is working well and killing rapidly dividing cells (ie my blood cells and the cancer cells). It is just taking my body a little extra time to recover. I have been a little lax on my multivitamin and my green vegees - so I am going to improve on both of those.

I am hoping to have my last chemo in a week. In the meantime, I meet with the plastic surgeon tomorrow with Steve to discuss surgical options and hopefully get some plans set for September.

I am feeling overall very good and have been working less and am in the process of hiring someone to work fridays in August, so I can spend a little more time at home and with Steve. The kids and I are exploring and learning all about the great local places we have here in Colorado. We have plans to visit 'build-a-bear' and I will actually break down and go to the local mall and shop. We might revisit the 'white fence farm' with friends. We went a little over a month ago and the kids loved it. They get to play on a large playground, feed animals and then have a family style dinner and play again afterwards. We will allow about 4 hours for the outing since the kids had such a blast last time. Mom and Dad had fun too so the place gets two thumbs up definitely.

Good News!

I had a repeat MRI of my breast done last week and the results were awesome. The tumor has shrunk by about 90% - which is a great response to the chemotherapy. It is good to know that all the side effects were worth it.

I still will go through with surgery (mastectomy) and radiation therapy - but those are easier for me to handle than the chemo - at least I hope so :-).

One more chemo to go and I am anxious to get it over with and feel good for a few weeks before I have surgery done. I will make time for a family trip - so that will be nice.

Doing well...

Things seem to be going pretty well so far. I did better with this last chemo - since I cut down on my steroid dose and got plenty of sleep. I am still fatigued and a few other relatively minor symptoms - but nothing too bad overall.

I had a repeat breast MRI done today - to see if the tumor has shrunk with the chemo. I should know the results in a few days - but it will not change any of the plans.

I am getting ready to meet with three different doctors to determine which reconstructive surgery will best meet my needs (a general surgeon, plastic surgeon and a radiation oncologist). It should be interesting to hear from all three perspectives.

On another note, Natalie started second grade today and Andrew starts kindergarten on friday. I spent all day yesterday with Nat. We met her teacher and did a ton of paper work, etc at school. Then we went out to lunch. I took a nap and she played at home for a bit. Then we picked up Andrew and went to an IMAX movie. It was a busy but fun day.

Andrew is scared - but I think also excited to start school. He has spent the last month with the school-aged kids at his daycare/preschool and seems to be enjoying it. He has picked up a few new phrases and habits that I could do without - but overall it has been a good experience.

Steve and I are thrilled at the concept of one school for the kids. No more two drop-offs and pick-ups - so our life will get a bit easier which is very welcome right now. Now if they would just learn to clean up after themselves....

Number Five...

I had my chemo as scheduled on tuesday and things went well overall. I had been talking a little bit to Natalie about my upcoming surgery and she was very interested in it, so I decided to take her to my chemo appointment with me. What a trooper! She did not want to leave with my friend as planned and stayed the whole four hours with me. We did puzzles, read books, talked, ate snacks and just relaxed. I let her watch them draw blood and touch the vials and the IV tubing, etc. She seemed very okay with all of it. I guess the demons you do not know are scarier than the ones you do...

I cut back a little on my steroid meds - with permission of course - and this chemo is even easier than the last round. I still am very tired and have 'chemo mouth' - but at least the severe muscle aches are minimal at best. I did get a new fun event to deal with also this past month and that is menopause - yikes! Okay, that is all I will say for the sake of the guys...

I will get a second MRI of my breast on wednesday - to see if the lump has shrunk - which is a good indication of it responding to the chemo. I have to meet with my radiation oncologist, regular surgeon and plastic surgeon in the next few weeks and start thinking about surgery. I am taking this weekend off of scheduling appts, planning things and just resting and hopefully having a little fun with the family.

I did find a local physician who will probably cover my practice for me in September when I have surgery done. I need to meet with her in a few weeks and just iron out some details. I want to get things planned so we can take a family trip between the end of chemo and my surgery. I want the kids (and myself) to see me healthy at least for a few weeks before I am down again.

I am still keeping my spirits up and working reduced hours. As long as I can get an extra hour or two of napping in, I seem to do okay. If I keep busy at work and home, I do not miss all the outdoor things I wish I was doing. I have learned to take the kids to 'indoor places' so they can run and exercise and I can watch. I will be jumping right in and playing too - in time. For now, I am reading a lot of books and making good use of my bathtub.