Catching rays...

Whew - time is flying! I have been so busy attending radiation sessions daily and keeping up with work and playing with family, that I have not updated things in a while...

Radiation has gone pretty well so far. The first four weeks seemed to fly by. I had some itching on the skin and a few mild expected rashes. It was all very bearable.

Things got rough about 10 days ago when I had my first burn from the treatment. They did not seem too worried and told me that it does happen (and everything I read said it could happen also) - but it still hurt a bit. After two more tretments, the area was very painful. I thought over the weekend, it would heal, but that was not the case. Last saturday, I was so miserable that I used my aloe vera gel five times and was having to sleep with a 1/4 inch thick layer of it on and nothing touching the skin. I was bummed because I missed sledding with the kids and a few other fun activities.

This week, I discovered why the pain had worsened. I had gone from first degree to significant second degree burns over about a 8x10 cm area (ouch!!!). My regular oncologist was a bit too backed up so they had me see his partner who seemed unconcerned and told me to try some burn cream and basically tough it out.

The pain had somewhat eased throughout the week - as the skin sloughed and the virgin red skin became evident. I was doing pretty well - even though a bit concerned until last night. On the way home from a holiday party, I rubbed the front of my chest (different area) and noticed my skin sloughing in that area also. I now have about 25x20 cm areas of second degree burns on my chest and am not too excited at anybody getting too close to me. I decided to forego the final two treatments - since this is a very minor part of my overall treatment regimen and it is even debatable if I should do radiation at all. Steve has kind of brought up the fact that it seems pretty counter-intuitive to continue radiating very burnt skin especially when it is trying to repair. I have a feeling I may have just increased my risk of skin cancer by about 20-fold in the area. I guess I cannot sunbathe in a bikini anymore - bummer!! No nude beaches either!

Otherwise,I am doing well and keeping in good spirits. This has just been a drag on an already very stressful two weeks. The good news is that I feel pretty well otherwise. The radiation does make me a bit more tired - but my immune system is in good shape. I have not taken anything for pain other than a few ibuprofen since the pain is severe only when I get the bright idea to put lotion, aloe vera or burn cream on the area. I get about two minutes of severe stabbing pain as my virgin skin gets used to having something penetrate it - then it dulls to an annoying ache.

I have found that a warm bath with baby oil is awesome! I have also found thinking and fantasizing about my upcoming visit to family and friends is therapeutic also. The beach is a very welcoming thought at about this point (just not in a bikini!).

Radiation...

I have done very well since my surgery and seem to be healing quickly. I am back to work already (of course!!) and things are going well overall. It is hard to be away for long when you are a business owner - but I managed to be gone for over three weeks!!... Things went okay overall - but it is good to be back.

I started radiation today - after a failure yesterday. I seem to pose challenges for the oncologist and physicists - but am not quite sure why. It seems to be related to my body shape and where the cancer was located. They had the computer crunch the data again and came up with a new plan that will deliver the radiation in the right places and dosages. I had the first of 30 treatments today and will get the rest over the next six weeks. It is a pretty simple procedure and takes about 10 - 15 minutes. It is just a drag to show up five days per week at their office - but since I want to live another 20 or so years, I will follow the plan.

Life is busy as usual - but it keeps me from feeling sorry for myself and keeps me from getting bored. Our house is all decorated for Halloween and the kids are excited about the holiday. They have their costumes all picked out and they are making lots of decorations and cards for family members. We even made chocolate chip cookies this weekend and picked out pumpkins.

I joined a gym and am trying to work out regularly and get my body in pretty good shape again. I have most of my energy back and am feeling back to my old self - so that is very nice. I may get a little tired with radiation - but it will be nothing like chemo and should be overall pretty easy to handle.

Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers on this journey. It does help!

Healing...

I am healing very well since my surgery and am back to most of my activities. I had to keep one drain in place for two weeks - so that limited activities a bit, but not much. I celebrated having the drain removed by taking a 3 mile hike with my sister :-). It was a beautiful Colorado day and we decided to make the most of it.

I have been getting things done around the house and my sisters have been helping me tremendously both mentally and physically. I managed to get me sewing machine out and help both kids make a pillow. (I am a bit challenged in this arena - so a pillow is about my limit.) I did some cooking and tried a few new recipes. I think I have played over 20 games of monopoly jr. with Natalie and about 10 games of Thomas with Andrew. I am just happy he now prefers dominoes - since that one is definitely more enjoyable for me.

I am enjoying sleeping in and I think the kids enjoy having Mom around in the morning. Andrew and I like hot breakfasts when the weather is cold - so we have fun 'cooking' in the morning. I have been exercising and doing arm stretches so my range of motion is pretty good.

My office seems to be doing well overall in my absence. The doctor who is covering for me had a family emergency so I may go back to work a week earlier than expected. I will miss reading books, afternoon naps, and relaxing - at least that was the plan next week - but it will be good to get back to work because I really love it. I might have actually started to get bored if I was home too much longer. It was more enjoyable than I had realized - at least once the drain was out and I slept at night.

We all had so much fun at the cabin in New Mexico last month that I have a long weekend planned the first of next month. I love watching the aspen turn color during this time of year so I planned for us to stay right at the edge of Rocky Mtn National Park. We are going 'camping in the mountains' as Andrew likes to say - but it is really a nice room at the YMCA. It will be warmer than a cabin and will have a full bathroom - which I will enjoy. There is a good chance of having snow - so I really did not want to try a public shower after walking in the snow and freezing. It should be a good adventure in any case.

I will probably start radiation therapy in a week or two. My appointment was supposed to be yesterday but we had to reschedule a few times. It will be a five week commitment so I hope to start in just over a week so I can finish by Thanksgiving and then officially start the AC (after cancer) phase of my life. I have not been able to give up carrying sanitizer in my purse yet - but hopefully soon I will feel okay without it and be able to trust my body and immune system. I did get my flu shot and will probably go for the H1N1 as soon as it is available just for extra protection.

Miracles do happen!

I do believe in miracles! I just received the news that when they looked at the breast tissue (which was the entire breast) and 26 lymph nodes - they found not one single cancer cell!!

Chemotherapy and all of the prayers and thoughts from all of - cured me of my cancer! Again - NO EVIDENCE OF CANCER AT ALL!!

I am recovering well from my surgery. I am off of all pain meds but may take an ibuprofen here and there until my drains are removed - hopefully on friday. I am moving my arm pretty well - considering the surgery they performed (lymph node dissection).

My sister Mary just left after a great visit. She was a great help before, during and after the surgery - as was a host of good friends. I have my other sister Kathy and my Dad coming tomorrow to help out and do some good bonding with the kids.

Tonight though, we are celebrating that I am now cancer-free! I just need to heal from this surgery and I will be doing some more celebrating!! I cannot wait to see the ocean and walk on the beach. That is my gift to myself once the radiation is over. I think my beautiful daughter will share in this experience with me - since we are both 'ocean girls'. I think we will also be attending the 'Joy of Christmas' os something like that at the Crystal Cathedral - because I do believe in miracles.

Thank you, thank you, thank you - and keep the prayers coming!

Doing well...

I made it through surgery with flying colors! I stayed in the hospital a little over 24 hours and was up walking and moving my arm within 3-4 hours after surgery. I was actually amazed at how little pain I had. It does hurt and ache some, but not as bad as expected - which is nice.

I have my sister Mary and Steve helping out at home. I am getting yelled at for doing too much and using my arm too much - but it is hard for me to sit in the sidelines... I am not doing much lifting or ready to bench press - but I can move my arm about 30% of my normal range of motion - which is pretty awesome for just coming out of surgery.

One of my best friends Stephanie - took both kids for a sleep over the night of my surgery - so that was a great distraction for them and a chance for all of us to rest and slow down a bit. The kids loved their 'first sleep over' and were plenty exhausted when we picked them up in the afternoon (Thanks Stephanie and Ken!!!).

I am going to do my best to relax and not lift or use my arm too much over the next few days - but it is hard when I do not have much pain :-). I am also anxiously awaiting the final pathology report on the breast tissue and lymph nodes.

Thanks so much for all the great thoughts, prayers, cards and warm wishes. They help tremendously! I am sure they are a big part of why I am healing well. I am going to catch up on my books and movies over the next few days. Email me with any good suggestions.

Surgery

I am doing well mentally and physically as I get ready for surgery in a few hours. I am a bit nervous and scared about losing my breast and learning about the final pathology report on the tissue. I am hoping that the cancer is only in the breast and has not spread to any or many lymph nodes - but we will find out after the tissue is taken out and evaluated... One lymph node was just barely being attacked by the cancer when they did the initial biopsy - so we will see how well the chemo worked on that tissue.

My sister Mary and Steve will both be with me at the hospital and helping keep my spirits high. It will be nice to have family around after surgery to help out with kids and just keeping up the household.

Thanks to everyone for all the great encouraging words. The thoughts and prayers are very appreciated also!

More soon,
Sharon

Feeling good

I am feeling overall good and am getting my energy back and starting to feel like my old self again - which is wonderful. It is nice to not have to take an hour or two nap every day and to enjoy a few extra hours in the day. It is really nice to start doing things with the kids again.

I took the kids to the wildlife museum on tuesday and met some friends there. We had an actions packed day and we were all a little tired when we were done - but it was nice to take the kids out of the house and see them enjoy things. Today was my first day to not feel the need to lay down at all after work and that was nice. I did some shopping and picked up the kids early so they could play a bit at home (ie watch movies or play computer games) but it is nearing the end of their summer or really their off-track time since they have started school already.

I am enjoying have my taste buds back - but am trying not to enjoy sweets too much again. The nice thing about chemo is that it took away my taste for sweets. I do not want to tempt things too much and see if it is back...

I am excited about our trip in just a week. I even agreed to go camping - even though it is a KOA cabin -since we chose one of the busiest and most expensive weekends in Santa Fe to visit. The kids are really excited to go camping for the first time this year - and more excited at the idea of a pool at the campsite. Mom is excited by the cafe and the idea of not cooking...

My day of celebration will be next tuesday when the chemo should be out of my body and I should have my immune system and energy levels just about back to normal. I get another two and a half weeks to let my body recover before I have surgery done. I plan on enjoying my time thoroughly and playing a lot. I am not quite sure what I will be doing - but am sure I can think of something.

Phase I

Well, I made it through the first phase of the treatment. I finished chemo on tuesday. I am not celebrating yet though - since it does take about three weeks to get out of my system. This weekend will be my toughest time with fatigue, body aches, nausea, and the like. I usually plan on laying in bed most of the weekend and resting, reading and taking baths. I can play games and read to the kids - so that is good. I just stay close to home and try to avoid getting sick at all costs...

It looks like surgery will be on Friday, September 4th. My super awesome family is making arrangements to be with me for the first two weeks - so I am relaxing a bit as the time approaches since we will have help with the kids.

I managed to find someone to cover my practice for the needed time and have even planned for a family weekend in a few weeks - barring any unexpected illness or surprises.

Thanks to all of you for the thoughts, prayers, cards and all kinds of silly emails. They all help keep me smiling and focused on the important things in life. I am amazed at the generosity and compassion of friends - as we try to find more room in our refrigerator for all the wonderful meals we have received! I think when I recover, I am going to spend some time learning some of the wonderful recipes - since I seemed to have skipped those lessons in life. I am a good costco shopper though - so that helps in a pinch :-)

The Plan

I finally met with all the members of my team and devised a plan to beat this disease. It was not quite how I had hoped - but it looks like a winning plan.

First, finish chemo - just one more treatment
Six weeks later, have a mastectomy on the right breast (mid-Sept)
Three to four weeks later, start radiation therapy (five days per week for five weeks) (mid-Oct)
Four months after completion of radiation, we are ready for the next surgery (March??)
Have left mastectomy and reconstruction and have an expandable implant put in right breast (March)
Expand the implant weekly for 8 weeks
Replace expandable implant with a permanent one (May??)
Do final tattoing of the breast, etc

It is a lot more surgeries than I want - but it is the plan with the best cure rates and least invasive surgeries and chance of infection.

The problem is that I need radiation treatment. With radiation, the skin can be destroyed and can scar and cause a lot of problems with healing. The radiation is done as close to surgery as possible - so they can penetrate the chest wall well so I cannot wait for healing of a reconstructed breast and delay radiation without giving up cure rates.

We went through most all the options and this seemed to be the best one to destroy as little tissue as possible, give me the most active lifestyle and still have the best cure rates for the cancer.

I am trying to focus on the fact that the cancer will be gone by the end of the year and the rest will be cosmetic. It will prolong things quite a bit more than I wanted, but at least I will have most of my body :-) and my immune system back. I should have my energy levels back and will be able to exercise and enjoy life a bit more and not panic about getting a fever or infection.

Between chemo, menopause, low blood pressure issues and anemia and low platelets, I am managing to keep my spirits up pretty well. I had a few tough hours yesterday as I digested all the work to go still to destroy this beast.

I played with the kids a bit today - so that put my spirits back up. Both kids are really doing well in school. Nat is just really advancing in math and reading. Andrew has really started to take an interest in letters and sounds and is starting to write - so that is great to see.

We decided to make an overdue trip to build-a-bear and we will all build an animal. I want the kids to help with my breast cancer bear and they both have to rub and kiss my bear's heart before they stuff it in my animal because it will accompany me to all of the rest of my treatments and will be with me during all of my hospitalizations. I hope the animals can hold up to a lot of tears and hugs - because I have a feeling this one will be tested well.

Keep up all the thoughts and prayers. They really are helping! By the end of the year, I should be cancer free and that is an awesome thought.

Another delay

Well, I was all prepared for my last chemo - but once again my blood work did not cooperate. The best laid plans of mice and men... It is really not a big deal overall. It just means the chemo is working well and killing rapidly dividing cells (ie my blood cells and the cancer cells). It is just taking my body a little extra time to recover. I have been a little lax on my multivitamin and my green vegees - so I am going to improve on both of those.

I am hoping to have my last chemo in a week. In the meantime, I meet with the plastic surgeon tomorrow with Steve to discuss surgical options and hopefully get some plans set for September.

I am feeling overall very good and have been working less and am in the process of hiring someone to work fridays in August, so I can spend a little more time at home and with Steve. The kids and I are exploring and learning all about the great local places we have here in Colorado. We have plans to visit 'build-a-bear' and I will actually break down and go to the local mall and shop. We might revisit the 'white fence farm' with friends. We went a little over a month ago and the kids loved it. They get to play on a large playground, feed animals and then have a family style dinner and play again afterwards. We will allow about 4 hours for the outing since the kids had such a blast last time. Mom and Dad had fun too so the place gets two thumbs up definitely.

Good News!

I had a repeat MRI of my breast done last week and the results were awesome. The tumor has shrunk by about 90% - which is a great response to the chemotherapy. It is good to know that all the side effects were worth it.

I still will go through with surgery (mastectomy) and radiation therapy - but those are easier for me to handle than the chemo - at least I hope so :-).

One more chemo to go and I am anxious to get it over with and feel good for a few weeks before I have surgery done. I will make time for a family trip - so that will be nice.

Doing well...

Things seem to be going pretty well so far. I did better with this last chemo - since I cut down on my steroid dose and got plenty of sleep. I am still fatigued and a few other relatively minor symptoms - but nothing too bad overall.

I had a repeat breast MRI done today - to see if the tumor has shrunk with the chemo. I should know the results in a few days - but it will not change any of the plans.

I am getting ready to meet with three different doctors to determine which reconstructive surgery will best meet my needs (a general surgeon, plastic surgeon and a radiation oncologist). It should be interesting to hear from all three perspectives.

On another note, Natalie started second grade today and Andrew starts kindergarten on friday. I spent all day yesterday with Nat. We met her teacher and did a ton of paper work, etc at school. Then we went out to lunch. I took a nap and she played at home for a bit. Then we picked up Andrew and went to an IMAX movie. It was a busy but fun day.

Andrew is scared - but I think also excited to start school. He has spent the last month with the school-aged kids at his daycare/preschool and seems to be enjoying it. He has picked up a few new phrases and habits that I could do without - but overall it has been a good experience.

Steve and I are thrilled at the concept of one school for the kids. No more two drop-offs and pick-ups - so our life will get a bit easier which is very welcome right now. Now if they would just learn to clean up after themselves....

Number Five...

I had my chemo as scheduled on tuesday and things went well overall. I had been talking a little bit to Natalie about my upcoming surgery and she was very interested in it, so I decided to take her to my chemo appointment with me. What a trooper! She did not want to leave with my friend as planned and stayed the whole four hours with me. We did puzzles, read books, talked, ate snacks and just relaxed. I let her watch them draw blood and touch the vials and the IV tubing, etc. She seemed very okay with all of it. I guess the demons you do not know are scarier than the ones you do...

I cut back a little on my steroid meds - with permission of course - and this chemo is even easier than the last round. I still am very tired and have 'chemo mouth' - but at least the severe muscle aches are minimal at best. I did get a new fun event to deal with also this past month and that is menopause - yikes! Okay, that is all I will say for the sake of the guys...

I will get a second MRI of my breast on wednesday - to see if the lump has shrunk - which is a good indication of it responding to the chemo. I have to meet with my radiation oncologist, regular surgeon and plastic surgeon in the next few weeks and start thinking about surgery. I am taking this weekend off of scheduling appts, planning things and just resting and hopefully having a little fun with the family.

I did find a local physician who will probably cover my practice for me in September when I have surgery done. I need to meet with her in a few weeks and just iron out some details. I want to get things planned so we can take a family trip between the end of chemo and my surgery. I want the kids (and myself) to see me healthy at least for a few weeks before I am down again.

I am still keeping my spirits up and working reduced hours. As long as I can get an extra hour or two of napping in, I seem to do okay. If I keep busy at work and home, I do not miss all the outdoor things I wish I was doing. I have learned to take the kids to 'indoor places' so they can run and exercise and I can watch. I will be jumping right in and playing too - in time. For now, I am reading a lot of books and making good use of my bathtub.

Getting ready

I have had overall a great few weeks and am getting ready for the next round. I am getting myself mentally ready for it - but the chemo itself is pretty easy overall. I try and make food for the staff when I can and just bring books and dress colorful, cheery and overall comfy.

We had a busy weekend - but it was wonderful. I had a great visit with my sister and Dad. Then we met up with a cousin of Steve's and his wife and had a really nice time. I did not know them too well but really enjoyed talking to them. They had kids about ours age and they were very kid friendly so that was nice. The next day, I even made it to my work party at the water park and with the help of friends, brought all the food and drinks for 20 people. Steve did a lot of entertaining the kids and I entertained under the shaded chairs...

I am learning that I can do things, but I need to sleep a lot afterwards to prevent getting sick. I slept for 2.5 hours on sunday and then was up for a few hours and slept another 8.5 hours. It was worth it though since I had a good time and no sickness.

I am hoping to meet with my surgeon (two of them) after this chemo and start thinking about surgery (bilateral mastectomy) in early September. I am kind of hoping to get the whole reconstruction thing over and done with at the same time - but I need to see if that will work best.

I just hate the idea of missing summer in Colorado. I could miss some of winter - because I would not be out hiking anyways. The weather is keeping my spirits up - but I am getting a little anxious to actually do some outdoor activities and not be worried about getting sick from pushing myself too hard. In time I will - so I am working on patience - which I have never been good at. Maybe it is time to learn...

Going strong

Things seem to be going pretty well this round. The fatigue is a bit worse - but everything else is much better. I have not had the severe muscle aches, leg pain or swelling that seemed to accompany the other treatments. Overall, it has been not too rough of a weekend - even though much of it was spent in bed :-). I did manage to attend Nat's soccer game and was asst. coach and then went to the carnival for a few hours. Andrew had been counting down the days and I really wanted to see his face when he saw all the rides. I guess cancer does change a few things... I bought the kids and Steve their favorite junk food and paid too much money for the rides without a single complaint. I was just happy to be enjoying it!!



I am hoping to gradually get my energy back this week and work a bit. The following week, Nat is off track for summer so I have a few fun days planned with both kids. I bought both kids some new clothes and will do the school supplies this week. It feels odd to do it at the beginning of summer but the kids start school the first week of July. If I focus on getting them ready and set for school, I do not focus too much on the cancer.



Steve is doing well and becoming quite the chef. I think he was tired of my reccomendations for tomato soup or grilled cheese - so he has been doing some experimenting. On the days when I can taste normal, it is pretty good. I am trying to cook a bit more too - but I tend to bake which is okay too. The kids love it! I also taught Nat to e-shop and told her that was Mommy's new favorite way of shopping for things. I do not think she really understood it - but will when the package arrives. Let's hope she does not figure out how to find my credit card and do it on her own...

Round Four - completed!

Well, round four went forward as scheduled. As expected, my blood counts corrected themselves with a bit more time. My sister Mary came out for a visit to keep my spirits up and to have a 'chemo party' with me :-). Things went overall well and I was wired for the last two days due to the steroids that I get with the treatments.

I am pretty relaxed now and rested quite a bit today and feel actually okay. Tonight and tomorrow are usually the worst with muscle aches, body aches and heart rate, blood pressure and temperature changes. It is nothing horrific usually - just annoying. I am trying a new tactic this round and am really forcing myself to rest a bit. Okay, I am going to do my best... I took a day and a half off work this round and hopefully the recovery will be a bit better.

My family and Steve have done as much as they can to try and get me to rest and work less - but I have been a bit resistent. I am going to try it this time and see how things go. I do not think I will run out of things to do - since I have a lot of good books from friends and wonderful uplifting cards and notes. I still need to find time to learn to knit, cook a little more and do some wood work - so I will not likely get bored. I may just need to wait some of them until my energy returns.

For now, I will stick with spending time with family and friends and trying to do more movie nights and date nights with Steve. My spirits are up and things are going overall as well as they could - but we will see how the next few days pan out. I am afraid to push things too much but I also hate staying at home and feeling like a wimp. I guess I will start learning how to slow down a bit - starting now...

Round Four - almost...

I went in today for my fourth treatment, but had to delay it since my platelets were too low. It was to be expected with the chemo drugs but they want to see them a bit higher before they knock them down again. It just means we wait a week and let them rise on their own and then we can proceed. It will delay all the rest of the treatments by a week but that is just how it goes.

I was a little disappointed - but quickly got over it. I had a rough go with round 3, so it will be nice to feel good for another week before we repeat the treatment. It also explained my mild bloody noses that I have had.

I am doing well and feeling pretty well - just tired. I certainly get my 9 hours sleep and most days it totals to about 10 so not a lot gets done around the house right now. I did manage to frame a great artwork on Natalies and get caught up on paying bills - so that is good. I even managed to do some e-shopping and real shopping for the kids - since I am not too tired for those things :-).

Round Three

Okay, I am halfway through the chemo - yahoo! The third round was a bit rougher than the first two and the effects lasted longer. Thank goodness they finally started to subside and I was able to enjoy sunday a bit.

I am learning the routine a bit now and will be a bit better prepared next round. I am taking a little more time off work and trying to get a nap or at least rest in almost daily. I am trying to exercise - but for about a week after chemo I have so many body aches that getting through my day is tough enough. I am going to try and walk on the two good weeks that I have though and try to keep in some sort of shape.

Thanks to my sister and her organic cooking, it made things a bit less hectic since she had a lot of prepared food ready for us. She taught me to drink 'good ginger ale' and kefer - so hopefully I will get through this round with no fever or infection.

I am trying to keep my spirits up - so thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. They do really help! I am starting to plan a vacation when the chemo phase is over and before I jump right into surgery. It will be a good bonding time for our family where we can just laugh and be silly and just enjoy life a bit. At least that is my goal...

Round Two

Well, I made it through the second round of chemo. It was great to have my sisters arrive the day after and help out tremendously. I don't think I cooked or cleaned or washed a single dish while they were here. I was scolded for doing any work - and I thoroughly enjoyed the spoiling.

It was a bit rougher the second time around for some reason and I knew to be suspicious when I heard the words 'this should never happen again'. On post-chemo day 3, I began with fevers, chills and severe fatigue. Of course it was the weekend... I was able to get by on oral antibiotics and am feeling a bit better. I am not quite back to normal, but definitely better than 2 days ago.

This round of chemo is worse than I expected but I am still keeping my spirits up - or at least doing my best. I am still working - but less than my regular schedule. It helps keep me positive and helps the time go by faster. I would probably sit home and get depressed if I did not work - so work is definitely good for my spirits. I have access to great lunches at the hospital (my sisters can testify to that!) so that is always an added benefit. I bring leftovers from lunches brought in by vendors - so Steve does not miss out too much either :-).

Thanks for all the love and support. It helps me get through this rough period. I know that in a few days, things should calm down and in about a week, I should feel almost normal. I seem to get about 5 - 7 days of feeling good between chemo treatments - but it is temporary so I can handle it. Who knows, maybe it will get easier... I can always hope.

I'm back!

Okay, thanks to some awesome doctoring and nursing and great friends and family, I made it through the ordeal. I really thought I was going to meet my maker for a while - but I get to make memories with all of you for a bit longer.

The kids did pretty well since a great friend took them for the night while I was recovering. Steve's homemade chicken noodle soup was also part of the recovery. (He thinks it was really the soup and not the neupogen that brought my WBC's back!!)

Whatever did the trick, I am very happy to be able to stand up for more than 30 seconds. I am also very appreciative of my immune system! I am so glad there are awesome scientists who make great drugs - even if they cost outrageous amounts of money!

Thanks for all of you and your love and support. I think that was what really pulled me through! I will even be able to see the kids find their easter eggs before my IV treatment. I will bring chocolate and candies for all the staff who have to work on Easter.

Another Bump...

Things were going pretty well overall - fatigue and some aches and pains but nothing too bad - until yesterday. My sore throat and fatigue were more severe and persistent while at work so I checked my temp and it was high (above 100.5*). I called the oncology office and was seen in just a few hours, where they confirmed their fears. I had neutropenic fevers and my white blood cells had bottomed out. I basically had no immune system.



They did a bunch of cultures to try and find the source of infection and then started me on IV antibiotics and a shot to boost my immune system (neupogen). I felt better after those two and a bag of IV fluid but I had a pretty rough night - poor sleeping, fevers, aching and severe sore throat. Today, I went for my second dose of IV antibiotics and another neupogen shot and I was almost hospitalized. I had begged my oncologist not to hospitalize me but this morning, I would not have complained at all...



Luckily, things are turning around and while I will get IV's every day for 10 days, so far I have avoided the hospital. I can actually stand for more than 5 minutes - which I have not done in over 24 hours.



Steve was great and did not complain about picking me up and driving me home - even though he had to get both kids and get Nat ready for her part in the school play (the choir) yesterday. It really bothered me that I had to miss her show - but I felt so bad that I barely had the energy to crawl into bed last night. Steve was up a lot with me last night and did not complain about my 3 AM bath :-).



After both kids were absolute terrors this morning, I decided I really do need some help so a good friend, Diane, drove me to my IV appt and is taking both kids tonight so Steve and I can relax a bit. Another friend, Jen, is taking me (at 7 AM!!) to my IV appt tomorrow and another set of friends, Kara and Mark agreed to take the kids on Easter Sunday at 7 AM while Steve goes to my IV appt. I am a bit afraid to leave the house, but hope to get out and walk at least tomorrow.



This is a rare side effect - but it does happen. From now on, I will get a shot of neulastin (a longer acting white blood cell stimulator) after every chemo so this never happens again. At least they seem confident that it will not. I plan to stay at home on day 10 - 13 post-chemo, just in case they are wrong.



No more trips to costco, sprouts, chick filet or other spots for a few days. I hope I do not go crazy :-). I finally have enough energy to sit up and watch a movie so that may be the excitement for the weekend. The good part is that all our friends love the kids and they will get two 'easters' since the easter bunny will hit our house around noon and they will get to find eggs with their best friends Adele and Hayden in the morning.

One down, five to go...

Well the overall chemo experience has been pretty much what I have been told it would be. The day of chemo and the first day post-chemo I am pretty revved up on steroids. I totally dislike the sensation since it seems like my head is going three times faster than my body and I cannot concentrate much at all. I do get a lot of organizing and cleaning and other mindless work done.



The second afternoon, I hit the wall as the steroids wore off. I literally could hardly keep my eyes open at about 4 PM. I took a series of 10 minute naps and within an hour was okay. It was really odd though. I also felt a bit like I had a cold today with muscle aches and body aches.



Friday, the third day post-chemo I felt better than ever and felt my old self. I guess I pushed it too much though - because friday night I had terrible muscles spasms. I did not know my gluteus maximus (butt muscles!) could spasm and hurt so bad. I had to sleep with arms and legs spread out so I would not spasm. Needless to say last night was one of the worst times so far.



Today, (4-day post chemo) I am back to feeling like I have a cross between a bad cold and influenza with the fatigue and muscle aches. A 10 to 15 minute nap seems to rejuvinate me for short periods as I try and get things done.



Overall it is not as bad as I expected (so far!!). I will just have to wait and see how the next few days go. I have so many positive people around me, it is hard to stay down for any length of time. I am keeping my spirits up and playing with the kids as much as possible. Steve is being awesome at helping out with chores, so I can still be involved.



I bought all the easter goods and we just finished decorating 18 eggs - so not too bad for a chemo Mom. :-) I had hoped to take the kids to a show - but the blizzard is making that not such a good idea. We are opting for movies indoors - after Steve and AJ did quite a few sled runs.



Sharon

The first treatment

Well, the first treatment went pretty well. It took about 5 hours since they did a few of the drugs slowly so they were easier on my system. Steve was a trooper and stayed through all of it - except when he took a break and grabbed some lunch.

Other than a faint funny taste in my mouth, I did not feel too much. After sitting for five hours, I was pretty restless. It may have had something to do with three doses of steroids today also. Either way, I walked about a mile with Andrew as soon as we got home and have been moving a lot around the house.

The main side effects are supposed to hit in a few days to a week - so I am celebrating yet. I am back to work - but with a bit less hours. I will go crazy and make Steve crazy if I am not busy during the day. I really like my work and have a great boss!!

With all the steroids, I am thinking of runnning and seeing if I can set a record. Okay, J/K they are not those kind of steroids.

Thanks for all the thoughts and kind words. They are helping to keep my spirits up and my attitude positive.

Getting technical

This is for all of you medical and technical people :-).





It looks like my cancer is ER/PR - weakly positive and HER2 positive. This is actually a good sign since it means we can use more drugs to attack it. I will take an anti-estrogen drug (tamoxifen) after the chemo therapy for probably about five years. It means menopause will hit early - but it also lowers my chance of this beast coming back.





HER2 is a protein on the cancer cell wall. My chemo regimen will definitely include herceptin which blocks the HER2 receptor on the cancer cells. This is the easiest and mildest part of the chemo regimen and hopefully will work as one of the best drugs.





My cancer is locally advanced - meaning it is in one breast and barely into the regional (closest) lymph nodes. There is no sign of distant metastasis. There is a small chance that it is in my other (left) breast - so I have another MRI- guided biopsy scheduled for monday.





My chemo regimen is Taxotere-Carboplatin-Herceptin and will be given in six cycles - occuring every three weeks. The Herceptin will continue every three weeks for one year. I will definitely lose all my hair (no shaving this summer!!) and will become anemic (low red blood cells) and neutropenic (low white blood cells). I have to be extra careful of infection and will have blood tests many times throughout this process.





They know I plan to work through this process and are very supportive and encouraging. I am planning to cut back my hours - but the bottom line is that I really love my work and I have such a great support team at work.





I am keeping a postive attitude and working on preparing my psyche for the first treatment on tuesday morning. I am actually excited to begin this process and just get on with life.





Sharon


PS I know a few of you asked why the chemo-surgery instead of surgery-chemo. Both have the same outcomes - but if I do surgery first, there is no way to measure the effectiveness of the chemo since the mass will be gone. If I do chemo first, we can measure the shrinkage of the mass as a sign of the effectiveness of chemo. I like concrete data, so I want to do the chemo first and measure the progress (probably after 3 cycles).

Getting ready

Well, my excitement was somewhat dampened when I learned about the side effects of chemotherapy. I am scheduled to start my regimen on tuesday and am a bit nervous - but I think it will go okay. I had an echocardiogram of my heart today and will have another MRI guided biopsy of the hopefully unaffected (left) breast on Monday since there was a questionable spot on the regular MRI on monday.



Steve was very happy to learn about the wireless internet connection that is available during chemotherapy - since he will be joining me for my four hour ordeal. It will give me a chance to catch up on reading and sleeping hopefully.



I was planning to finish running errands today - but a blizzard somewhat delayed me. I am planning on getting a bit of 'work' done tomorrow, but this weekend I am hoping to do some fun things with Steve and the kids.

My Cancer Walk

Good news!!



I found out just minutes after getting my brain MRI and my full body PET-CT scan (thanks for good friends and colleagues!) that the cancer is limited to my breast and is just barely invading lymph nodes on the right side. The left breast and the rest of my body is cancer free.



I am not out of the woods by any means - but I can beat this poison. It will mean six months of chemo and bilateral mastectomy and radiation therapy - but at least I will be alive to laugh, cry, scream and celebrate life for another 10 or 20 years.



I am one tough chick and have a good sense of humor too. If I lose my hair, I am telling everyone I am going for the 'GI Jane' look. N.K. wants me to go blonde and A.J. thinks orange hair with a little bit of purple would look really cool!



I will find out more about the order of treatment when I meet with the oncologist tomorrow. Steve and I will spend time charting the best course to defeat this beast - with the least disruption to our family.